It has always been a question for battered wives: “Why not just leave him?” Kavita’s* (35) story shows that complex matters like this require kindness, empathy, and an open mind.
When Kavita was younger, she married a man from a higher caste. She had always been poor, and marrying someone “above” her is a prize that many women and young girls aspire to in small Nepali villages. She and the man had two daughters and seemed to be a well-functioning family on the surface. But behind closed doors, all the cruelty and abuse have been happening.
Since the husband had more economic means than her, she depended on him for survival. Power imbalances like this eventually led to abuse. When the man was unhappy or in a bad mood, he would deny her food, clothing, and other necessities. He would treat her as someone he fed rather than his wife or life partner. Not a day went by that he didn’t make her feel like she was less than him. He would verbally and physically abuse her, even with their daughters noticing.
What he didn’t know was that Kavita still had dignity and autonomy. She came to our help desk for help, and we immediately intervened. We frequently coordinate with the police, so this already gives the husband a warning not to touch her again. We spoke with Kavita and her husband, telling him all the consequences of his actions: not only to her and to him, but to their children as well. After that, she reported feeling safer at home now that she knows someone would look after her.
Will she leave her husband? Well, not anytime soon. She is a mother with very little opportunities. With her efforts alone, it would be difficult for her to support herself and her children. She might even be susceptible to human trafficking once she gets desperate enough. This may not be the most empowering act to others, but to her, it is. She keeps the man accountable to his responsibilities while also ensuring that he cannot endanger her anymore. That, in its own way, is power and dignity.
*Name changed for privacy.
Our Partners
Be a Part of the Solution
Together, we can protect more girls and women from the horrors of human trafficking. Your generosity can save lives and provide hope.
Be their lifeline.
