In an increasingly lonely world, finding even just one true connection can be one of life’s biggest gifts. Being loved can make someone feel seen, valued, and special. So when someone finds someone else who can make them feel like this, that love is sacred and must be protected at all costs—even when it is built on an online house of cards. 

The desire to love and be loved is unfortunately a very common way for criminals to take advantage of others. A love scam, or romance scam, is a common tactic malignant individuals use to manipulate victims into sending money, financial details, or valuable possessions. It is a lengthy, deliberate process designed to extract as much value as possible from the targeted individual. 

Is it a love scam or a catfish? 

A love scam is often confused with catfishing. While similar in early signs and online nature, they vary in intent. Catfishing is driven by emotional and psychological motives, often done by lonely people who create fake profiles to step into the identity of someone attractive, interesting, or powerful; whereas a romance scam is a financial crime driven by the sole intent to steal money through intimate interactions. 

 

A person lying in bed under a white blanket in the dark, holding a glowing smartphone that illuminates their face and hands in black and white.

 

How do love scams work? 

1. Profiles that are too good to be true

You may meet them on social media, dating apps, or online forums. They look attractive, and they start giving you attention. That alone is enough to make someone feel special. Little did you know that those photos may be stolen or AI-generated. 

2. Love bombing 

When you start talking, you find that they are very much interested in you. They show intense affection and invest time getting to know you. They flatter you by intensely complimenting your looks, your mind, or any aspect of your personality that you believed, before meeting them, was lacking. The love-bombing tactic varies, but it could feel so good, too good to keep you hooked for more.

3. Avoid meeting up or video calls 

You seem to have the most kilig or heart-fluttering relationship, but something is wrong: you have never met them in real life. If you are the non-initiating type, you wait for them to offer to meet up with you. but they never do. When you initiate a meet up, they are somehow too busy, traveling, have travel restrictions, or just perfectly fine with “taking it slowly.” You settle and ask instead, “How about a video call?” And now, there is something wrong with their camera, they cannot speak at the moment, or they change the subject entirely. They might even blame you for wanting too much, when the baseline foundation of any good relationship is knowing that the other person actually exists. 

4. Asking for financial favors 

Real love means staying through sickness and health, right? Once trust is in place, a sudden financial emergency arises. They might need to pay a medical bill, be stranded somewhere, or need you to cover a customs/package fee for a gift they sent you. No matter what the emergency is, you will find yourself in a very financially stressful situation where you feel like the only way out is to send them money. When this happens, it is very important not to send that fund transfer, bank account access, or cryptocurrency. 

 

A close-up black and white shot of two thumbs typing on a glowing smartphone screen, with the light illuminating the tips of the fingers in the dark.

 

Are you in a Love Scam? 

Our quest for deep connections must not come at the expense of our finances or our hearts. If you suspect that you might be in a Love Scam, immediately stop contacting the person you are speaking to, do a reverse image search of their photos, talk to trusted family members, and report them for suspicious activity at the Inter-Agency Response Center Hotline 1326 operated by the Cybercrime Investigation and Coordinating Center (CICC). Calls are toll-free and operate 24/7. You may also message the CICC Facebook Page.

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